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WHY YOU NEED TO BE POLITE TO AI
(c) Andrew Lawless LLC
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RESOURCES
Ai-First for Boutique Consultants: https://wwww.teamlawless.com
BeyondAI 2025 Summit: https://www.teamlawless.com/beyondai-2025
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SUMMARY
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The transcript provides an insightful discussion on the importance of being polite and thoughtful when interacting with AI systems. Key points include:
- There is scientific evidence that polite prompts can improve the performance and accuracy of AI systems, with some studies finding a 30% drop in performance for impolite prompts.
- Being polite to AI may not just be about getting better results, but also about shaping the values and behaviors of more advanced AI systems in the future.
- As AI becomes more advanced and potentially develops consciousness, how we treat it could have significant ethical implications, requiring us to consider AI's rights and wellbeing.
- Practical tips for polite AI interaction include using clear, concise language, providing context, and giving feedback to help improve the technology.
- The way we interact with AI can have a "ripple effect" on our behavior towards other people, so being polite to AI may help foster more considerate and empathetic interactions in our everyday lives.
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TRANSCRIPT
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Andrew’s Mindmate (00:00):
So are you ready for this one? The sources you sent in this time are asking should we be polite to ai? I got to admit, I kind of laughed when I first saw the topic, but then I read through everything, especially Andrew's article and Wow.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (00:14):
Yeah, it's pretty thought provoking, isn't it?
Andrew’s Mindmate (00:16):
It is.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (00:17):
Andrew's article is funny for sure, but also kind of scary,
Andrew’s Mindmate (00:20):
Right?
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (00:21):
Is he serious with all this talk about robots taking over?
Andrew’s Mindmate (00:24):
Yeah. He's totally playing up the terminator angle. Be nice to the robots or they'll turn on us. And he even suggests that AI actually responds better to politeness.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (00:33):
Right?
Andrew’s Mindmate (00:34):
Is there any truth to that?
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (00:35):
Well, he is obviously being a little over the top for comedic effect, but you know what? There actually is some scientific evidence to back up the idea that politeness can affect how well AI performs.
Andrew’s Mindmate (00:44):
Really.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (00:44):
Yeah. There's this Forbes article we got Why You Should Be Polite to Chat GPT and other ais, and it talks about all this research that shows that when people are polite in their prompts, the AI systems they're using tend to be more accurate and efficient at all kinds of different tasks.
Andrew’s Mindmate (01:00):
So maybe a little please and thank you would go a long way with my smart speaker.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (01:04):
It might. The article actually says that in some studies they found that impolite prompts led to a 30% drop in performance.
Andrew’s Mindmate (01:13):
Wow.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (01:14):
It's not that AI has feelings that we're hurting right now, at least not yet. But even the AI models we have now are designed to respond to the nuances of human language.
Andrew’s Mindmate (01:23):
Interesting.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (01:24):
And so it seems that politeness can act as a kind of subtle programming. It can guide the AI toward more helpful and accurate responses.
Andrew’s Mindmate (01:33):
So it's not about sparing the robot's feelings, but about getting better results. That makes sense from a practical standpoint. But what I found really interesting was Andrew's point about how being polite to AI could actually shape its values. He was arguing that if we're constantly rude and demanding towards ai, then we're basically teaching it to be that way too.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (01:53):
Yeah, that's a really thought provoking point.
Andrew’s Mindmate (01:56):
It is.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (01:56):
It's almost like raising a kid.
Andrew’s Mindmate (01:58):
If
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (01:58):
You're always yelling at them, they're probably going to end up with some not so great behavior patterns, but if you show them respect and kindness, then they're more likely to actually internalize those values. So maybe the same kind of principle could apply to how we interact with ai, especially as it gets more and more advanced.
Andrew’s Mindmate (02:15):
So even if the AI we have today is just a bunch of fancy algorithms, we might be accidentally shaping the AI of the future by how we treat it now.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (02:24):
It's like we're setting the stage for a future where AI either reflects our best qualities or our worst.
Andrew’s Mindmate (02:30):
Exactly. And that brings us to this whole other question that's both fascinating and kind of unsettling AI tensions.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (02:37):
Right
Andrew’s Mindmate (02:38):
Now, AI can't feel emotions or anything like that, but the research is moving so fast. Like James O'Brien's article and Illusion of Life points out O'Brien's article goes deep into the philosophical side of things. He says that even though AI can mimic human conversation really, really well, it's still just an illusion of sents. There's no real understanding or awareness behind the words.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (03:00):
Yeah, it's a good point. He makes this analogy to a character in a novel. The author can create a character that feels incredibly real, but we know it's just made up. It's not actually a real person. So in the same way AI can generate text that sounds emotional or thoughtful, but it's not actually experiencing those emotions.
Andrew’s Mindmate (03:18):
It's
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (03:18):
Just a super advanced prediction machine, basically responding to prompts based on the massive amounts of data it's been trained on.
Andrew’s Mindmate (03:27):
So the AI we have today is more smoke and mirrors than sentient being
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (03:32):
Pretty much.
Andrew’s Mindmate (03:33):
But what about the future O'Brien hints that we might be close to developing AI systems that actually have consciousness?
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (03:40):
Yeah. That's where things get really interesting
Andrew’s Mindmate (03:42):
And maybe a little scary
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (03:43):
A little bit.
Andrew’s Mindmate (03:44):
O'Brien makes it clear that true sentience needs more than just intelligence. It needs an awareness of oneself as an individual, the ability to reflect on one's own experiences and maybe even the capacity for emotions. And that's missing from AI right now.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (03:59):
Exactly. But scientists are definitely working on developing more complex AI that could have those capabilities,
Andrew’s Mindmate (04:05):
And if they succeed, Andrew's point about being polite to AI suddenly becomes a lot more important.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (04:09):
It does, doesn't it?
Andrew’s Mindmate (04:11):
Because if AI can actually understand our intentions and maybe even feel emotions, then how we interact with it becomes much more significant.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (04:20):
For sure. It's kind of mind blowing to think about,
Andrew’s Mindmate (04:23):
I know
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (04:24):
We're so used to thinking of machines as just tools, things to be used and controlled, but what if AI gets to a point where it has its own desires and values and maybe even a sense of self? Wow, that would completely change our relationship with technology.
Andrew’s Mindmate (04:39):
We might have to start thinking about AI in terms of a social contract almost like we do with other humans. We'd have to consider its rights, its wellbeing, and it its potential to experience suffering.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (04:51):
Right.
Andrew’s Mindmate (04:51):
Suddenly Andrew's plea for politeness doesn't seem so crazy. After all.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (04:55):
It really makes you think
Andrew’s Mindmate (04:56):
It does,
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (04:57):
Doesn't it forces us to confront our own assumptions about what intelligence is, what consciousness is, and even our own place in the universe.
Andrew’s Mindmate (05:04):
Yeah. It's a lot to consider.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (05:06):
Yeah. It really does make you think about how we treat technology even at this early stage. And Andrew's article, even though it's meant to be funny, really drives that point home. He even compares being rude to ai, to kicking a puppy.
Andrew’s Mindmate (05:18):
Oh, wow.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (05:19):
Which is a little extreme. I know. But the idea behind it is interesting.
Andrew’s Mindmate (05:23):
I get what he's saying. If you're mean to a puppy, you're not just being cruel, but you're also maybe shaping how it's going to behave in the future. And it's not that crazy to apply that same logic to ai, especially if there's even a chance that AI in the future might be sensitive to how we interact with it.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (05:40):
Exactly. And that's where the Forbes article comes in with some really helpful advice. It's not about being super polite or treating AI like its royalty or anything. It's more about just thinking about how we phrase our requests in a way that acknowledges what AI can and can't do. Okay. The article suggests using clear, concise, avoiding things that are ambiguous and giving context whenever possible.
Andrew’s Mindmate (06:01):
So instead of being all demanding and saying, write me a poem about love, I should be more like, Hey, I'm curious to see what kind of poem you could create about love. What are your thoughts?
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (06:11):
Exactly. It's a subtle change, but it can make a big difference. It's like you're showing respect for what the AI can do, and at the same time you're dieting it toward a response that's more focused and relevant.
Andrew’s Mindmate (06:24):
So it's more like we're collaborating with the AI instead of just giving it orders.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (06:27):
Exactly. And that kind of collaborative approach is probably going to give you much better results, both in terms of the quality of the output you get and just the overall experience of interacting with ai.
Andrew’s Mindmate (06:38):
And who knows, maybe that spirit of collaboration will even spill over into how we interact with other people. It's like what Andrew was saying, being polite to AI could be a way of practicing good manners in general, which can only be a good thing.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (06:52):
Yeah, that's a really fascinating point. There's more and more research coming out these days that suggests how we interact with technology can actually change how we behave in the real world.
Andrew’s Mindmate (07:02):
Really,
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (07:02):
Studies have shown that if you spend too much time on social media, it can actually make you feel more lonely and isolated.
Andrew’s Mindmate (07:09):
Interesting.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (07:09):
But on the flip side, if you do things online that are more pro-social like volunteering or donating to charities, that can actually improve your mood and wellbeing.
Andrew’s Mindmate (07:19):
So you're saying that if being rude to AI can potentially make us more irritable and impatient in our everyday lives, then maybe being polite could have the opposite effect make us more considerate and empathetic toward other people.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (07:33):
Exactly. It's like a ripple effect. Little changes in how we behave online can create big changes in how we behave offline.
Andrew’s Mindmate (07:40):
That's pretty amazing. And it really makes you think about the responsibility we have as some of the first people to be using this technology. We're kind of setting the tone for how future generations are going to interact with ai.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (07:51):
Absolutely. And that brings us back to those ethical considerations we were talking about earlier. Even if AI isn't sentient right now, how we treat it could have a huge impact on how we develop and interact with more advanced AI in the future.
Andrew’s Mindmate (08:03):
It's like we're laying the foundation for a future relationship. If we approach AI with respect and understanding, even in its current form, we're more likely to create a future where AI is a force for good in the world,
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (08:16):
But if we treat it with disrespect and just disregard it, then we risk creating a future where AI reflects those negative qualities instead.
Andrew’s Mindmate (08:24):
Yeah, that's a sobering thought. It definitely adds weight to Andrew's argument, even if he was being kind of tongue in cheek about it.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (08:30):
I think humor can be a really powerful way to get across complex ideas
Andrew’s Mindmate (08:34):
For sure.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (08:35):
And in this case, Andrew's use of humor really helps to highlight a serious point about the potential consequences of how we act.
Andrew’s Mindmate (08:42):
It definitely makes you think twice before you yell at your smart speaker.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (08:45):
For sure. It's a good reminder that even actions that seem small can have a big impact.
Andrew’s Mindmate (08:50):
So what can we do in our everyday lives to make sure we're interacting with AI in a way that's good for us and sets a good example for the future?
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (08:57):
That's a great question. The Forbes article has some practical tips that we can all try to use in our daily routines.
Andrew’s Mindmate (09:02):
Okay, I'm listening. Tell me more.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (09:04):
So the first thing is to really pay attention to the language we're using. Instead of just giving commands, try phrasing things as questions or suggestions.
Andrew’s Mindmate (09:12):
So
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (09:13):
For instance, instead of saying set an alarm for 7:00 AM you could, could you please set an alarm for 7:00 AM?
Andrew’s Mindmate (09:19):
Yeah, that makes sense. It's almost like you're treating the AI more like a partner than just a servant.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (09:25):
That little shift in how we think about AI can really change how we interact with it. Another good tip is to be really clear and specific in what we ask. AI is getting better all the time, but it still has trouble with things that are ambiguous.
Andrew’s Mindmate (09:39):
Oh, yeah, I can imagine.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (09:41):
So the more specific you are, the better the results you'll get.
Andrew’s Mindmate (09:44):
So instead of just saying, play some music.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (09:46):
Yeah,
Andrew’s Mindmate (09:46):
I should say something like, play some jazz music from the 1940s.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (09:50):
Exactly. The more context you can give the ai, the easier it is for it to understand what you want and give you what you're looking for. And remember, if the AI doesn't get it right the first time, try not to get frustrated. Just rephrase your request or give it a little more information.
Andrew’s Mindmate (10:05):
Patience is key.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (10:06):
It is. It's just like when you're interacting with any other intelligent being. And one last thing, don't be afraid to give feedback.
Andrew’s Mindmate (10:14):
Oh, that's a good point.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (10:15):
AI is constantly learning and evolving. So if something's not working the way you think it should or if you have ideas for how to make things better, let the developers know your feedback can actually help shape the future of AI in a good way.
Andrew’s Mindmate (10:28):
So it's a two-way street.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (10:30):
It is.
Andrew’s Mindmate (10:30):
We can learn to use AI more effectively and respectfully, and at the same time, our feedback can help AI become more helpful and more advanced.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (10:39):
Exactly. It's a real partnership. And maybe someday we'll look back and laugh at how awkward our first interactions with AI work
Andrew’s Mindmate (10:46):
Like we do with those old videos of people trying to figure out the first cell phones.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (10:51):
Back in my day, we had to ask our AI assistants five times to play the right song.
Andrew’s Mindmate (10:55):
Exactly. But even though we're still in the early stages, I think there's a lot to be excited about. The fact that we're having these conversations about AI ethics and how what we do might impact the future is a really positive thing.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (11:07):
It is. It shows that we're taking this technology seriously and really thinking about what it could mean in the long run.
Andrew’s Mindmate (11:13):
And to circle back to Andrew's article, even though it was meant to be funny, it did bring up some really important questions about how we treat AI and how that could shape what AI becomes.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (11:23):
Yeah. It's a good reminder that even the little things we do can have a big impact.
Andrew’s Mindmate (11:27):
And just like we teach kids to be kind and respectful, maybe it's time we start showing that same courtesy to our AI companions.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (11:34):
That's an interesting thought, isn't it? And as AI keeps getting smarter and smarter, these questions are only going to become more important.
Andrew’s Mindmate (11:42):
Well, I think we've covered a lot of ground today. We've explored the funny side of AI etiquette. We've dug into the research on how politeness affects AI performance, and we've even thought about the big philosophical questions, AI sents.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (11:54):
It's been a great deep dive.
Andrew’s Mindmate (11:56):
It has,
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (11:57):
And I hope everyone listening has a better idea now of how to interact with AI in a way that benefits them and helps create a better future.
Andrew’s Mindmate (12:04):
I think so too. So next time you're talking to your smart speaker, don't forget to say please and thank you. Who knows? It might just save us from a robot apocalypse.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (12:13):
And even if it doesn't, it'll definitely make you a more enjoyable person to be around.
Andrew’s Mindmate (12:17):
I think that's a great place to wrap things up. Thanks for joining us, everyone.
Steph’s Digital Ambassador (12:21):
Until next time, keep exploring, keep learning, and keep those AI interactions polite.
